What have you been dreaming about recently? I don't mean when you are asleep, but the day dreams of things you want to do and places you want to go.
I have been dreaming about Hawaii! It's somewhere I have always wanted to go - I love the aloha spirit, the nature and of course the surf. With Tabitha starting school soon, me and my husband have been thinking that we need to go sooner rather than later.
If we go next May then she will only miss out on reception and I think the value of travelling far outweighs indoor play.
So, we signed up to a house swap website and already have someone interested in swapping with us.
It made me freak out a bit because all of a sudden the potential of this dream turned into a real possibility and I was like 'it's so far! The flights are so expensive! We will have no money left!'
It's not much fun thinking about all the logistics, but I do know how amazing it will be. Traveling such a long way is a bit challenging (when can we start teleporting!) but life is made richer by these experiences.
I don't want to get more fearful as I get older and my worrying made me feel like a stranger to myself. I like adventures. I love to be inspired by new cultures!
This might be my chance and so I'm going to turn this dream into a reality.
How about you?
Today the sun came out and that was a big thing. It's been grey, consistently grey for far too long and even my positive outlook was beginning to feel the strain. It didn't last long though. I can now hear the wind howling outside my window and I know the washing that I optimistically put on the line earlier will most likely be lying in dogs wee by the morning.
I love the sun. It makes me feel instantly energised - like I want to run around, grab my surf board, do yoga and clean (!) all at once. So what did I do when the sun came out? I drove into Penzance with Tabitha to get some bags that my husband and I both needed for market. It was fun. It was a job that needed to be done at that moment and I was up for it. I love that feeling of action and completion. Job done! It's so satisfying.
So, I've been feeling a vague sense of inertia with all the gloom, but actually, thinking about it now, I've been pretty productive. It's like I've been pushing lots of different projects forward at once, so I haven't been patting myself on the back much, but hey! Today I finished the last of my glitter pictures ready for delivery to The Roundhouse and Capstan Gallery on Friday. I also sorted my unicorn screen print (third times a charm!) after getting pretty soaked washing it with the shower head.
It's been frustrating but it's done!
I've also been researching agents and publishers and have finally got a couple of letters ready to be printed out and sent off. This is a big deal! I know it's the beginning of a long road, but you have to take those first steps!
And all this pushing things forward makes me dream of that moment when someone says yes to me and I get to take things to the next level. And I know it will happen because I can FEEL it, in that kooky getting myself into alignment way. But I believe in all that and so that makes me feel like I'm doing something right. And I think that's the most important thing really.
I hate wishing away the present moment, dreaming about sunnier days - I know that right now is so precious and everything. The sun will come out again, spring is starting to bloom and life continues to unfold one small, beautiful move at a time.
It's so easy to read positive quotes and nod at their wisdom, but a lot harder to incorporate into your daily life.
I think it's interesting that hard work is supposed to be the key to success and happiness, but I am beginning to wonder if that is really true.
To begin with, success and happiness are two very different things and while they can influence each other they aren't necessarily co dependent. That is, you can be successful and miserable, or happy with no visible signs of success.
My happiness as an artist however can take serious nose dive when I feel as though I am making little progress. Sometimes this manifests as losing followers on social media, sometimes a lack of interaction and sometimes rejection emails from agents and publishers.
To be successful as an artist, you need to make money, you need to be liked...
But then I think it's all a matter of degrees. Making a living in a creative industry is notoriously difficult. To load your happiness and self worth on being successful as an artist is surely a path of torment? Okay, so that sounds heavy and that's not exactly me, but it does express something of my current state of mind.
The thing is though that although making art makes me happy and I work as hard as I can at it - sometimes I think I need a break! And that is kind of hard for me to get my head round.
Maybe winter has has something to do with it and being a mum to a will full conscious 3 year old. My time is squished into these little segments of opportunity and I feel as though I have to fill that time with illustration and research.
For pretty much three years now I haven't thought about much else than my daughter, my husband and making art. It's pretty intense and I'm beginning to realise that I need another outlet to fill my soul with joy and hope.
I listen to Abraham Hicks when my head starts to get a little unruly and negative and I find a lot of freedom in the knowledge that is imparted through Esther. I'd really recommend listening to her on You Tube, but what is really relevant to me right now is this idea of not being so effortful. That actually by letting go I will find myself where I need to go and that by enjoying the journey I will not only have more fun, but I will also attract the things that I want into my life.
In this respect my happiness will affect my success! By following my joy I will generate the energy and the opportunities that I am looking for in my career.
I am beginning to appreciate that it's about balance. It's all very well to keep drawing and thinking that I am doing all I can, when actually I need to research companies, contact relevant people, develop my ideas, my products, promote, upload, take photos and write!
Perhaps my happiness needs a little discipline too! I have a tendency to get totally immersed in one thing. As a kid I could only read one book at a time. To me it was a loyalty to the world of the author - I was 100% invested and to read anything else would somehow water down that world.
I still feel this need, but I'm beginning to think that it is too heavy a burden, that actually diversifying my interests, like the tributaries of a stream would actually be more beneficial to finding my path.
I shall let you know how it goes. I'm in search of my joy again - even though I know it's right here inside me!.
I'd love to know what makes you happy. Please share in the comments below and thank you for reading. 💕✨😀