It feels weird to say that I’m a witch. I’m not the biggest fan of labels and I think I carry some of the fear in my dna of witches that were burned or hung.
I’ve always been drawn to the esoteric though. My love of fantasy as a child made me continue to look for it as I grew older. It felt real to me and so I sought out books on magic, shamanism and astral projection as a teenager.
I practiced drawing a pentagram in my minds eye just like one of the books instructed, I threw crystals for divination, I visualised my chakras, attempted to leave my body and practiced my tarot cards.
Throughout my life I have noticed many synchronicities, moments of wonder and deep connection with nature. Spiritually however I found myself following a more yogic path and have taken much inspiration from Buddhism and shamanism.
It wasn’t until last Christmas though that I found myself creating my first true spell. I felt emotionally and physically spent and was running by sheer will alone.
And so I gathered ivy for resilience and strength, Rosemary for health and created a wreath with them. I surrounded this with some shells and crystals which brought me joy and placed a candle in the middle. I burned incense to purify myself and the house and set my intent for healing.
This practice came to me so naturally and it was exactly what I needed to do.
I have spent a lot of this year in appreciation of nature. Witnessing the unfurling of buds and leaves and feeling that essence within me. I felt the transformation that was happening outside was also happening to me.
I also noticed a shift happening through social media through the plethora of #witchy #pagan posts. These things were not longer in the shadows, but people were sharing and celebrating their path.
There were very few books on the subject when I was growing up and the ones that were available were pretty heavy in their language. Nowadays every type of witch is catered for with books for spells, moon phases, garden witches, hedgewitches, kitchen witches etc. It no longer has the aura of the dark and forbidden, but more of a reawakening of a sacred path.
It actually gives me a lot of hope to see this as I believe that as women we have immeasurable power. We have long been distracted by images of superficial perfection. Told a story of how we should look a certain way and behave a certain way too.
I have no doubt that the hundreds of women and girls awakening to their true potential as healers, empaths and leaders will rattle a lot of bars on the old establishment. And a good thing too. This is exactly what the world needs right now.
A few moths ago I went for a chakra session. I knew that I was out of alignment and I needed self care at a level that was beyond a hot bath and a few candles.
The session was pretty revelatory to me as I got in touch with my energy at a core level without my mind getting in the way. I felt my connection to the witch I was in a previous life and I saw the witch that I was becoming - accompanied by a beautiful silver hare. I was surrounded by silvery light.
It was days later that I was reminded of the phrase ‘drawing down the moon’. I couldn’t remember what that meant so I looked it up and saw how it is a full moon ritual whereupon the goddess is called into your body.
This is pretty much how I felt during the session. It was profound and incredibly healing and it has left me knowing that this is who I am.
I still feel the weirdness of the word witch. I still don’t really like labels, but I want to be able to reclaim this word because there is a lot of power in it. Women all over the world are rising up and I need to show up too. So here I am. I am witch and it’s a special thing.
It’s kind of funny how I always thought that I wanted to be a writer, but nowadays I find it so hard to start. It’s because there is so much to say, but strange times can make words insufficient. That’s why I like illustrating and printmaking. It’s easier to reach for the next line, shape or colour than the right words.
Here I am though, working through what it means to be human in the face of environmental chaos and trying not to lose my faith that things are going to be okay.
Many people have written about the shifts in consciousness that would occur in the 2000’s and if you don’t feel that then I would be really surprised.
I might not be marching with Extinction Rebellion, but I am with them in spirit and hope that their action wakes up the people that still aren’t aware of the situation we are in.
It’s tempting, I would imagine, for lots of people to ignore the protests and pretend it wasn’t happening. Waking up is hard, painful even. It’s creating a level of stress and anxiety that is close to unbearable. I have felt it, but know that I can’t sustain that level of feeling without breaking apart and I don’t want that.
This planet will continue to thrive in one form or another - it has already seen so much and I wonder what new creatures and inhabitants will evolve to find this earth a happy home?
Our future is on pretty tenuous ground though. It reminds me of the shamanic practice of keeping death over your shoulder. Our existence has never felt so precarious and yet simultaneously beautiful. The more I consider my own death, the more I consider the beauty of the current moment.
Of course I recognise the contrast, the people in power that are riding rough shod over this planet with only self interest in their minds.
I don’t understand how we ever got this far away from our spiritual practice and yet I feel that the shifts are happening. More and more people are reconnecting with nature, exploring the Akashic records, channeling intelligence from beyond our mortal existences. We are embracing the subtleties of moon magic, engaging with nature spirits and working on our own personal shit.
This world fascinates me - I love nature and all it’s manifestations with a passion and I think if more people felt this connected then things would be a lot more harmonious. But we are evolving. I am holding onto this feeling. That this current discomfort is like the dirt that creates a pearl in an oyster. Perhaps this is a necessary growing pain in the collective consciousness.
People used to ask nature spirits where they could build their homes. They used to put stakes in the ground and if they had moved during the nighttime then that was a warning not to build there. This loss of sensitivity to our environment has lead to our loss of sensitivity to ourselves. Nature heals us because we are part of it. No wonder we are in so much turmoil.
I see the pearls of goodness forming though and I think that these are precious and the beginning of a new time of communal growth. I have much hope that a future can be created where communities support each other and the land is cared for because we are part of it and it is part of us.
Every moment we have we can choose to be kind, to reach out, to learn, to let go, to embrace our true selves, to plant a seed, to love ourselves, to help, to think with love. Don’t give your power away to anyone else. The work right now is inside all of us - learning what is of value and learning to value what we have.
I value you. Thank you for reading my thoughts - I really do appreciate it. Sometimes they just have to come out. Now to get back to creating little pieces of magic.