 This full moon was called a worm moon by Native Americans because of the worms starting to emerge from the earth. Things are starting to grow again and colour is seeping back into the world. It still feels like a fragile time though, Winter keeps making its presence felt and illnesses seem to be lingering for lots of people. I don’t quite understand how the moons work with star signs, but this moon is in Libra, which I know a little bit about because that is my husband’s sign. Libra is a sign of balance and fairness. Hopefully this means that we will start to feel relief as the cold shifts to warmth and we feel our spirits restored by the sun. I have actually bought myself a white candle for this full moon and I am going to try a little intention setting magic. I will burn some incense, write some hopes down and then try to dream them into being. As you do. My big news is that I have been offered to share a shop in Penzance, which I am really excited about. It will be in Chapel St and I will be in there a couple of days a week too. It’s a lovely light space with plenty of potential. I will be starting after my holiday - so I will be there at the beginning of June - hopefully feeling all renewed and inspired by the world. It’s such a wonderful opportunity and I am very grateful to the lovely Dasa for thinking of me. Sadly this also means that I will be no longer at Sennen Market after April. It’s been a great experience and I have loved being part of such a vibrant community - I really will miss everyone. Anyway, I hope that this full moon sees you happy and healthy and full of dreams. Best wishes and magical kisses. Jacqueline
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 Addicted to noise
I like to do most things accompanied by some sort of noise. It’s usually a podcast, some music, or Netflix playing in the corner of my screen. Silence seems too much sometimes, too open, too empty. So I fill it with stuff. Things that entertain me, give me ideas, a sense of connection. Listening to podcasts makes me feel as though I am part of something bigger than my daily experience. I love listening to contemplations on the nature of consciousness, art and marketing and strategies for better living. The thing is now I feel full and empty at the same time. Regulating my intake is tricky. It’s like wanting a cup of coffee. There is a certain amount of belligerent entitlement - I want it so I will have it. What harm is there? The problem is though, that the body and the mind have a way of telling you when things are too much. I have the equivalent of coffee jitters for my mind. It’s not easy to admit. I don’t like being addicted to anything. It reminds me of Carlos Castaneda and the advice of Don Juan to ‘stalk yourself’. The idea of stalking yourself is to free yourself of habitual behaviour. If you were an animal drinking at the same watering hole every day, then your behaviour could lead you closer to your death as a predator could easily be watching and learning. Therefore the secret to living a longer life is to stalk your own habits and shift them when you start feeling stuck. This is how I feel now, but something is already starting to shift within me. I believe that change can be much easier when you don’t hold on too tightly and focus your attention on how you want to feel. I want to hear the birds singing more. I want to clear spaces in my mind that allow me to breathe and find my own thoughts again. To not want to constantly fill each moment with more pictures, more comments, other people’s thoughts. It’s time to feel free and allow myself to daydream. “Turning and turning in the widening gyre The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity.” W.B. Yeats  I expected the lead up to my birthday full moon to be some great happy dance that would leave me fit to burst on the day itself.
Instead I got hit by a virus that made me feel drained and unable to move or think a great deal. I watched season 2 of Sense 8 which was a pretty great distraction, but the fog in my head is only just starting to clear. So, now I’m trying to make sense of things and decipher the signs. By ‘signs’ I mean those things that happen and are a little unexpected. They tend to happen in multiples which is the thing that tends to make you notice. I have had two crystal clusters break which would normally upset me, but something about the breaks have revealed some really nice points and individual crystals. It is like there is new potential and possibilities, rather than destruction. I have also faced a fair bit of rejection. I applied to Launchpad which would have gained me a free table at a major stationary show, to Not on the Highstreet and also to a folk lore exhibition. It certainly was enough to make me go ‘oh!’, but it’s okay. I feel like I’m creating my own path and if conventional routes are not open then I’m creative enough to think about something else I’ve also done lots of giveaways recently. I hadn’t really planned it, but I really enjoy doing them. It’s fun to think that you can make someone’s day in this way. I feel like I am in recovery mode at the moment, but also trying to visualise what I really want. I think that I am really lucky to live the life that I do and I know that everything is shaped by how you perceive it. Quite often I despair at the tiny size of my house, but today I found myself in gratitude that it is so manageable! It really is a great size - it doesn’t take long to clean and it’s not too big to heat. With the snow we have had over the last couple of days I have felt very grateful to have a warm and cosy house, to have enough food and to be safe. There are lots of things I need to do in the coming months and I feel like I am entering new territory. I have times when I can see and feel the future quite well, but right now I can’t feel it. It’s like it’s a blank page refusing to be written. I can feel one thing though and that is our house swap to Vancouver Island. That feels big and wild and adventurous. I think it’s going to be really inspiring. I think it will change how I think and I’m really excited to connect with some different energy. It’s just around the corner now - we go in May for three weeks. I almost want it to be further away so I have longer to anticipate it, but times moves on regardless. |
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