So for the mini bootcamp assignment we had to journal about five brave things we have done in our lives. So here are mine;
1 After finishing my English degree at Worcester my partner Darren and I bought a beautiful navy blue VW camper van and decided that we were going to live in Cornwall.
We sold and gave away lots of our possessions and hit the road listening to an audio book of The Hobbit.
I remember staying on an empty campsite in Crantock, close to Newquay, and feeling pretty wild and free. It was just before Easter and it was still pretty cold and windy, but within a couple of days we found work in a cafe and a room to rent above it.
Our adventure had only just begun though as we met some people who showed us how to do henna tattoos and we then travelled the UK, going to festivals and drawing on people. Exciting times!
2 Giving birth at home at the age of 39.
In a way it's strange to say that I was brave because it felt like the right thing for me to do. The thought of having to go to hospital scared me a lot more and I trusted that my body knew what to do. On the other hand having only gas and air was pretty brave as it was a pretty intense experience to say the least. Luckily everything went to plan and I had a gorgeous little girl.
3 Self publishing a book
While looking a 1 year old, I took part in the 100 day project where I I drew a fairy every day. The momentum of the project resulted in the creation of a book called Glitter and Earth: Tales of Magic and Wonder. There were lots of little moments of bravery, like okaying the proofs, ordering copies and having a book launch. Each moment brought up questions of self worth, "is it good enough' 'am I good enough' 'who do I think I am etc.' Not to mention the financial aspects of creating your own book which made me wonder what on Earth I was doing on many occasions.
4 Teaching a yoga class
I travelled to California with my family to take a Yoga for Surfer's teacher training course. It was an amazing experience, but it was also really challenging in many ways. I was worried about how Tabitha would cope without being with me for most of the day and it was pretty intense to find myself back in the ocean on an unfamiliar board after being out of the water so much. There was a lot of ego involved. I had to let go of my perception of myself and my abilities and learn not to care so much about proving myself to others.
The week of lessons culminated in me having to teach the class my own sequence of yoga poses on the beach at Trestles. Pretty much the whole week I had been having palpitations at the thought of it and having to speak up against the roar of the ocean was not a natural thing for me at all.
I was committed to doing it though and I actually really enjoyed myself! It freaks me out, thinking about doing it again now, but I do know that I can and the energy of that moment is still with me.
5 Being an artist.
This is actually the bravest thing for me. It's a competitive industry with so many talented people vying for jobs that it would be easy to give up. I create though because I love it and I have a desire to create beautiful things. I want to share the sense of magic that I feel. There is nothing secure or safe about being an artist. You are always growing and developing your skills as well as constantly assessing your own work.
However, there is a sense of adventure involved, not too dissimilar from when I moved into a camper van and travelled to Cornwall all those years ago. I didn't know what was around the corner for me, but I trusted that it was all going to work out okay. I like that feeling a lot. It feels like excitement and it feels like freedom.