My word of 2018 was the word ‘magic’. I said that I would live by the phases of the moon and learn to be more connected to the energy of nature. Over the course of the year I did this, but I found that I was easily knocked off course.
Life has a way of taking over and often I would find myself searching to find my way back to where I wanted to be.
For one thing it was easy to lose track of which phase the moon was in. Cloudy skies, an unrisen moon and early nights often meant that I had to turn to Google for this information rather than looking up at the sky.
Even if I did know the phase of the moon, it didn’t always mean that I would synchronise my actions with the prevailing energy. However it did provide me with a previously unknown structure by which to perceive the world. The passage of time travelled differently.
There are moments in my life when I call upon the universe to show me things and I look for signs as to what I should be doing or simply as a way to feel in communication with a power that is beyond my day to day life.
I had forgotten that I had asked this when I was driving home at twilight and I found myself staring at a bird, wondering what it was. As it came closer and closer into focus I saw that it was a barn owl and my pleasure at seeing it was cut short as flew into my windshield and glanced off.
I watched it out of my rear view mirror flying away, wondering whether I should try to find it and make sure that it was okay. It wasn’t safe for me to turn round though and my forehead ached as though I had hit my windscreen too. Tears came and I wondered what that sign meant.
It didn’t take too long to find out, but that is not my story to tell. Needless to say it wasn’t a good omen and the following week made me dig deep in terms of resilience and faith.
Not long after the owl incident, I came across a slow worm in the road. It was by a piece of rubber and it was only because I felt nudged to look closer that I realised what it was. Barely alive it seemed. It lifted its head as I picked it up and put it in the grass.
I have no idea whether it would survive but curious again to the meaning of such an encounter I looked up the symbolism of snakes. The word ‘transformation’ struck a chord with me and events seemed to be leading me in that direction.
On Christmas morning, while everyone was still asleep, I heard an owl hooting so clearly that I nearly got out of bed to go and find it. In the 17 years that I have lived here I have never heard an owl before and it felt reassuring, as though the owl was letting me know that things would be okay.
When writing blogs and updating social media there is always the temptation to put a happy spin on things. The same is true in real life too, the standard response of ‘I’m fine’ is so much easier than explaining why things aren’t . At a time when the cultural emphasis is on light and joy I have felt the darkness keenly.
I found myself casting a spell. I used ivy for resilience, Rosemary for health, rose quartz for love and some sea shells to anchor me to the ocean - a part of myself that knows peace and joy. I carry the energy around with me like a secret and it keeps me strong.
The ‘magic’ that I was searching for in this year showed up in a way that was far deeper than I expected and I think that this is a sign of what’s to come.
I’m pretty sure that this will manifest itself in my art too. I want to find strength and resilience and a smooth path into the next phase of my life. I feel transformation ahead.....