“Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.”
I expected the lead up to my birthday full moon to be some great happy dance that would leave me fit to burst on the day itself.
Instead I got hit by a virus that made me feel drained and unable to move or think a great deal. I watched season 2 of Sense 8 which was a pretty great distraction, but the fog in my head is only just starting to clear.
So, now I’m trying to make sense of things and decipher the signs.
By ‘signs’ I mean those things that happen and are a little unexpected. They tend to happen in multiples which is the thing that tends to make you notice.
I have had two crystal clusters break which would normally upset me, but something about the breaks have revealed some really nice points and individual crystals. It is like there is new potential and possibilities, rather than destruction.
I have also faced a fair bit of rejection. I applied to Launchpad which would have gained me a free table at a major stationary show, to Not on the Highstreet and also to a folk lore exhibition.
It certainly was enough to make me go ‘oh!’, but it’s okay. I feel like I’m creating my own path and if conventional routes are not open then I’m creative enough to think about something else
I’ve also done lots of giveaways recently. I hadn’t really planned it, but I really enjoy doing them. It’s fun to think that you can make someone’s day in this way.
I feel like I am in recovery mode at the moment, but also trying to visualise what I really want. I think that I am really lucky to live the life that I do and I know that everything is shaped by how you perceive it.
Quite often I despair at the tiny size of my house, but today I found myself in gratitude that it is so manageable! It really is a great size - it doesn’t take long to clean and it’s not too big to heat.
With the snow we have had over the last couple of days I have felt very grateful to have a warm and cosy house, to have enough food and to be safe.
There are lots of things I need to do in the coming months and I feel like I am entering new territory. I have times when I can see and feel the future quite well, but right now I can’t feel it. It’s like it’s a blank page refusing to be written.
I can feel one thing though and that is our house swap to Vancouver Island. That feels big and wild and adventurous. I think it’s going to be really inspiring. I think it will change how I think and I’m really excited to connect with some different energy.
It’s just around the corner now - we go in May for three weeks. I almost want it to be further away so I have longer to anticipate it, but times moves on regardless.