Waves, flow and badassery
I had a great surf today and while I was out there contemplating life and stuff, I had a few realisations. Surfing is really great for that. You are in a different environment and able to let your mind wander while you are in an element that represents every living particle of existence - waves. It is no wonder that you can have some ‘aha’ moments. Now, this is a bit of a tangent, but it will link up, I promise. Whilst waiting for the plane back from Vancouver to Gatwick I needed a book to read. After a quick look this one ‘how to make money like a badass’ by Jen Sincero jumped out at me. I am very hesitant with parting with cash, but after putting it down for the third time I decided I really did want it. So how does this link with surfing? Well the book taught me that to be a badass at making money, I had to get really uncomfortable. I needed to start doing things differently to make the shifts that I needed to create more abundance in my life. (The book is complete therapy btw and I would recommend it to everyone!) I like to take this sort of information and apply to different things and I thought if I tried to do things differently in the water then I might get more confident doing them out of the water. When it comes to surfing I’m a little out of the loop. Being busy with my art and having a five year old, keeps me out of the water and so when I do get in I feel a little awed and out of practice. Anyway, I have been trying to surf a little further ‘in’ than usual which means I’m a little out of my comfort zone. The temptation to surf out to a more usual position is quite strong, but I tell myself that this is good for me and I need to practice feeling uncomfortable. It’s been working pretty well. Today I really felt in flow. I felt the waves were totally on my side and we were rocking this thing together. I was having this conversation in my head with Jessica Lively (The Lively Show and the founder of Consciousness school) about how she should start surfing because it’s such a great teacher. I was thinking about law of attraction and the way that things don’t need to be so full of effort. Instead it’s all about getting in alignment and then acting. I really felt that today. You can paddle like crazy for a wave, but if you are not in the right position then all sorts of crazy crap can happen. (I’ve had a board hit me in the jaw before, which made me unable to open my mouth more than the size of a grape - all because I wasn’t really paying attention to my alignment) There were lots of people in the water today and I thought that even though not everyone was catching waves, they were certainly in the right place and that if they stuck with it for long enough then they would learn what they needed to learn. They were in the right arena and that was a good step. So I was pretty happy after a lot of gorgeous sunny waves that were oh so blue that they were enough to make you turn into a mermaid. And then I got home and opened my email to see a rejection from an agency that I’d really like to work with and my stoke took a nose dive into feeling unworthy and not good enough ness. It’s never easy taking knocks, but my good vibes didn’t not want to go and so I thought I better reframe my thoughts to keep me on track. So, this is where I am now. I was in the arena by applying to the agency (and this is good - you don’t get any waves if you are not in the ocean) maybe the wave was to big and I’m just not ready for it yet, in which case I just have to keep on improving and trying again. I’m putting the work in and I’m also tackling the things that make me uncomfortable which I believe will lead to some breakthroughs eventually. In the meantime, nothing really has actually changed. My life is pretty awesome. I love what I do and I have a fabulous husband and daughter (and soon to have a puppy.) Yep, sure that rejection stung, but I’ve been knocked down by some pretty big waves before and it hasn’t stopped me surfing yet.
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